Unrealistic?

I talk to a fren recently. the topic that played a part in me leaving my hometown arose again,
masked in the irritation, anger and hurt within the conversation.
she pointed out that i came bcos i wanted to escape some issues in my life,
and that i was being unrealistic bcos pple will fail me, disappoint me...

Then i realised that mayb i have been too perfectionistic?
In my friendships, i have most of the time looked for the best in the person.
That i believed that if a person mattered to you, you wld not give up so easily, you would not want to fail the perosn.
Of cos, in my case,they are ABSOUTELY unaware...

when i compare this with the experience when someone close failed me.
i teared, i cried, i asked God WHY?
but yet, i am able to love her after being disappointed.
So what is the crux?

Maybe sometimes the connection btw pple and me, is more of the mind than the heart.
In the mind, i can understand the topics we are talking abt.
In the heart, the distance is as far as the east is frm the west.
I still wonder why, sometimes my mind tells my heart, Believe in this person. Trust his heart for you.
Sometimes, my heart stops and tells the mind, I dun wan to be hurt, and disappointed again.
i dun wan to be vunerable.

i'm used to pple telling me that this is my prob.
the person i spoke to told me that
1. I have a choice
2. I shld forgive
3. I should TAME my MIND. phil 3

but i'm really tired.
If i forgive, it is bcos i wan to.
It is becos it is my choice to do so.
Not becos it is EXPECTED of me.

Oh well, Life goes on.